New Parenthood Lethargy Department
- shahrilmohamed75
- Nov 23, 2021
- 2 min read
This shirt is available here:
This mask is available here:
Some of us have been there. Some of us are going through it and some of us will get there. You're suddenly a parent!
One day you're the paint-the-town-red weekend warrior and the next thing you know you're fumbling around in a dark room at 3 a.m. with a soiled diaper in your hands. How THAT happened? You're so wiped out, you start to hallucinate - all day, everyday. No amount of coffee can snap you out of this zombie state you find yourself in.
I remember the time when my son was born. It was like an out of body experience. There I was on the right side of my wife. She, gripping my hand with all of her life, huffing and puffing and bearing the pain no man can ever imagine. A nurse on her left, another one over my wife's head, trying to push the bump out of her body. And the doctor at the goalpost, ready to catch the ball.
Me in my delirious state with all kinds of mental flashes running across my mind, some of which have nothing to do with anything that the current reality is presenting, heard the doctor said , "Ok push a little more, I can see the baby's head!" - as cheery and calm as anything. I remember thinking, "There is no way anything can come out of THAT! She's lying!" Like I said, I was delirious. I know it's nowhere comparable to what the wife is experiencing in these cases, but I was already sleep-deprived from her labor pains the night before. And it's now 1 a.m. - way past my bedtime. I was catching a glimpse of what was going on over there every now and then. But I just could not bring myself to look amidst the blood and gore of the battleground. I wasn't seeing any heads.
And then unexpectedly the doctor said, "Yes! The baby's out!" In between trying to gather my thoughts and being really concerned for my wife - I missed witnessing my son's grand entrance to the world. He was laying there - all pure and innocent, but also slimy and gross. I remember thinking "Oh wow, I was wrong. He DID come out. Wait, isn't he supposed to cry? Doc?" And then he started to wail.
So that was that. A ray of white light didn't break out in the room, as I realize that I am a father now. It was more like, "Ok that was intense, so this is how humans happen. Oh god I'm so tired." And yes, the following days, weeks, months, two years (so far) have been a struggle. Not constantly, but for a guy who was set in his singlehood and introverted ways and got hitched fairly late in the game - it takes a fair amount to learn stuff. But that's me - I'm a constant work in progress.
Comments